There’s a crispness in the air that is unmistakeable. Fall is here in full, and it has us all craving pumpkin spice everything. Except for the most Type A of Type A personalities who already finished with their holiday shopping, now is the time when most of us normal humans start making our lists, checking them twice, and probably forgetting someone important. Remember, though, the most important person on your list isn’t a human person at all–it’s your cat. Cats aren’t hard to shop for. We have compiled a simple list of exactly what your cat wants for Christmas this year.
Your Undying Devotion
Cats don’t want much, except everything. All cats just want you to be at their beck and call 24/7, and to disappear at all times they do not want you around. It’s very easy. If you are wanted, be there. If you are not wanted, go away. Leave the house. Go shop for them, maybe.
Whatever You’re Eating
This one is tough because it’s not a good idea. Your cat wants all of your food, whatever it is because you want it. But human food is not healthy for cats under most circumstances. You can attempt to make up for the egregious insult of not sharing your food by substituting in some tasty kitty treats to appease your furry leader. Most of the time they will let you live.
Your Side of the Bed
Cats just wanna be on you. All the time. Basically they want your body heat, like little heat-stealing aliens. They don’t take your heat without offering you something in return, though; they offer you a trade. Your heat for their excess hair.
Being a cat is so hard. Being so cute and fuzzy all the time is such a burden. What your cat wants for Christmas this year is to relax, and catnip will help them do this. Just make sure to follow rule #1 during catnip time: if you are not wanted, go away.
If you think the treats you give your kitty to keep them from stealing your food are enough, you’re mistaken. Stuff their stockings with delicious cat treats and they might just let you sleep past dawn on Christmas morning. Just ignore the shredded stocking on the floor when you wake up.
So there you have it, the top five things on every cat’s Christmas list. Better start shopping now.