Our feline friends have a world of behaviors and oddities unique to them. Previously, we discussed weird cat behaviors that are actually signs of love and affection. Now let’s examine certain cat behaviors that show cats are superior to humans. Read on and be convinced.
Cats Defy the Laws of Physics
Always landing on their feet, sleeping in a perfect ball, there is seemingly nothing they cannot do.
Cats seem to defy earthly laws of physics with their unfathomable talent for twisting their bodies into a perfect symmetrical circle. They can be big, small, or even hairless—the ability to squeeze into a perfect symmetrical circle for an extended period of time is nothing short of miraculous. We can attend yoga for over a year and never achieve such dexterity and flexibility. Cats are lazy, never get up early to go to the gym, and they can just do it. Not. Fair.
Also on the list of all things unjust and improbable, why do cats always land on their feet? This is not at all normal. Falling out of a tree? They land on their feet. Flying leaps off the fridge to mount an attack on unsuspecting houseguests below? They will land on their feet (and on top of your houseguests). Push them off the bed? You know the rest. From anywhere and from any height, cats always land on their feet.
Experts agree there are very good reasons for this defiance of the universal rules of gravity and physical laws of earth. Cats’ ability to curl themselves up into a perfect circle is an instinctive skill that helps conserve body heat. While cats now have the luxury of electric blankets and indoor heating, the evolutionary behavior remains.
Known to scientists as a cat’s “righting reflex,” a cat’s innate ability to orient itself as it falls begins to appear at 3–4 weeks of age, and is perfected at 6–7 weeks. They are able to do this because of an unusually flexible backbone, no functional collarbone, and some other magic that remains a mystery.
Cats Are Masters at Mind Control
That freaky ability to always win a staring contest is no accident
You are lying in bed, enjoying some quiet time, browsing the net on your iPad, or reading a good book. The hairs on the back of your neck stand on edge with the feeling that someone is out there. But who? Suddenly you see it across the room. Hidden in the dark shadows, two glowing eyes stare back at you, unmoving, unfaltering, a lack of blinking that reminds you of notorious cult leaders.
Shuddering, you move into the living room, only to look back in the dark bedroom to find she has not moved. Her eyes, remain locked on you. No sound is emitted—just the long, unwavering, silently confident stare of Grumpy Cat.
If this scenario sounds all too familiar, chances are you have a cat that is showcasing their mastery of mind control. If you find yourself meowing every time the light turns on and hissing with each doorbell ring, you now know why. No, you have not fallen into the traps of a new secret conspiracy; your cat just controls you. No big deal right?
Cat experts point out that an intense stare from our feline companions is actually friendly behavior. They do The Stare because they find us so interesting. As for the unblinking and unnerving intentness of The Stare? That’s just feline physiology working its magic. Cats have evolved corneas that don’t need constant blinking to wet their surface like humans do. So cats can stare, and stare, and stare… and then stare some more. This has many advantages in the wild when they keep watch on their potential prey—and in our homes, when they want to take over our minds.
Cats Have Secret Languages That Manipulate Us
Wiggling tails, shaky ears and a plethora of squeals are a language all on their own.
You heard that right. Cats can adapt their vocalizations to control your behavior. Case in point, if they want food, they can make their cries sound more urgent and kitten-like. They can also retain their kitten vocal sounds to communicate with humans regardless of their age, even though they use a different repertoire of sounds when talking to other cats. Everyone knows kitten sounds shred any form of willpower in pet parents. Cats know this and use it to their advantage.
What’s worse, cats have non-verbal language that is difficult to fully translate. Sure, special cat scientists have logged countless hours trying to figure it out. But how sure can we be? Between specific types of tail wiggles, and bat-signal ear movements, one has to wonder if all cats are using these signals in secret communications in order to launch a revolution and take over the world.
Researchers think they have been able to translate a few. A rigid and rapid tail flick is a sign of offensive aggression and a vertical upright hold says, “I am feeling playful.” But, a vertical hold that is quivering could mean your cat is about to spray or mark something. Read one thing wrong and you may think pee time is playtime, happy time is sad time, and there goes your new sofa.
Aside from their tails, a cat’s ears speak yet another language all on their own. And with 32 muscles in each ear, the language is quite complex. An interested cat’s ears stick straight up, a nervous cat has twitching ears (they may need a hug), and flat horizontal ears mean get out of your cat’s way. Between their meow, their ears, and their sneaky tails, it is surprising to think we have any control over them at all.
With their mind control, defiance of all gravitational laws, and highly advanced top secret language skills, it is obvious that what we previously thought was just strange cat behavior provides insight into why cats rule our lives, and the world.